A Little Background, Part 1

I'm being asked often if we were wanting another baby, and if this pregnancy was a surprise. I guess the answer to both of those would be 'yes,' despite the circumstances. People who haven't known us as long as other dear friends have also asked for "the story." So, to catch some of you up on what God's led us through in the wait for this 3rd child of ours, here's a little history. I'm trying to include answers to all your questions, so hopefully this will cover it. There's a lot of detail, I'm warning you. I'm meeting more and more folks who are facing infertility struggles of their own, and it's a passion of mine to encourage them as they grieve and learn through the process. Hopefully, our stories can give you some hope. This Part 1 will cover the story of our struggle to have Abigail. Then I'll add the latest part of our journey to baby #3 in Part 2.

I have a long history of endometriosis, which has been troubling since I was a teenager, though undiagnosed, but really became an issue once James and I got married. (If you aren't familiar with this condition, read here.) Within 6 weeks of our wedding, I had a major surgery to remove my left ovary, because it was destroyed by endometriosis. I had many other spots of it (adhesions) that he tried to remove and clean up. An oncologist actually did the surgery, because we went into it not knowing whether I had ovarian cancer or what. As you can imagine, it was a very scary way to start marriage! After the surgery, he and my gynecologist felt I was in decent shape, and that I just needed to keep a check on things periodically, since it's a disease that never really goes away.

When we had adopted Isaac, it wasn't because we thought we couldn't have children necessarily. We hadn't been trying too long when we got custody of Isaac as our foster son, and weren't terribly worried, but also were probably in denial a little bit since it had been 2 years since we'd started trying. Finally, in May of 2001, I had a check-up that showed the endo. was back, and very rampant. I went in for surgery within the week, and my dr. was really concerned, saying that it looked like a bomb of endometriosis had gone off. It was classified as stage IV, the worst it could be, and was everywhere - my remaining ovary and uterus had many adhesions, as well as my bladder, intestines, spleen, appendix, lungs, and diaphragm. The news was pretty scary, and we knew that we were facing a difficult time trying to conceive, since the scarring really minimized the chances that a decent egg could be released and then fertilized and implant in such a hostile environment. Dr. McKenzie cauterized as much as he could, trying to again clean up my whole insides, and referred me immediately to an infertility specialist who decided we'd aggressively pursue pregnancy, with the goal of not just achieving the baby we longed for, but that my body would have a chance to heal from the disease, since pregnancy and the lack of ovulation for those 9 months would be the best thing to keep it in remission.

Through 3 months of Clomid and also Follistim injections and a couple of procedures, I developed a whole new level of empathy of women who don't get pregnant easily. I sat in the clinic several times a week for those months, waiting on my turn for bloodwork, testing, consultations, and just was stunned at the many women who were there with me, doing all they reasonably could to have a child. After 3 months, we had to take a break. My ovary was so overstimulated it had a huge cyst that Dr. Long was afraid would rupture and cause me to lose my ovary, so we didn't have any option. I was emotionally drained too, after getting my hopes up more and more each month. Dr. McKenzie had only wanted me to try treatment for 3-6 months anyway, before I saw him again. The last appointment for labs was on Sept. 11, and I sat in that office watching live footage of the towers falling and remember just weeping, and realizing as much as I wanted a baby, it was nothing compared to the heartache of those families. It was a very humbling moment. I left there knowing we just had to stop for a while and focus on the precious son we did have, and just heal some.

The month of October was amazing, because I was on no medication, felt more normal, and we were so happy that Isaac's adoption was going to be final at last on October 22nd. We were planning a party for him at the end of that week. When we had the final decree in hand that Monday, it was such a moment for relief and celebration. Then, when I realized the next morning that I was pregnant, I really felt God had done too much! It was so amazing, that the month after we stopped all medicine and treatment and just left everything alone, God had answered our prayers for a baby. We were beyond grateful and I am still amazed when I think of that wonderful week.

The story of my pregnancy with Abigail and her birth will be on the other blog soon, since her birthday is coming up.